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The Pod

In the summer of 2006, the Bollockbrains decided to upgrade the recording software in the Bunker. The SPECTRAL PRiDE had already been experimenting a lot with Apple loops using GarageBand to create basic tracks, so it was decided that the best thing to do was stick with Jobsy and his boys, and install Logic Pro.

As the PRiDE began to use Logic for tracks in The Empty Quarter project, however, it became apparent that there was a problem: nobody knew what the fudd they were doing with the new software. It was a lot more sophisticated than anything they’d used before, and heads were getting sore with the amount of scratching going on.

‘Shite and tomatoes,’ said Hands, ‘if this isn’t a bonafide bastard, then I’m taking me arse back because it’s cracked!’

‘Only one thing for it, lads,’ said the Reindeer, ‘someone’s going to have to take lessons.’

‘Why you all looking at me?’ said the Knobster, his head sinking into his shoulders like a setting sun. But the whinging was short-lived, and before you could skin a spud and call it ‘Norman’, Young Knobby was working his way through a series of tutorials which would hopefully bring him up to some sort of speed with the Logic lark.

The result of this was a house track cobbled together from loops, and given a smooth mix: ‘The Floor’.

When the Bollockbrains and the PRiDE heard Knobby’s effort, they were so impressed with the balls they were hearing, they thought it might be a good idea to give the lad some time in the Bunker, and see what else came out of the speakers. A project of his own.

Young Knobby was a bit apprehensive about this. Remixes now and again were one thing, but a complete project all to himself...

‘What’s up, you young twat?’ said Hands. ‘You look like you’ve just knobbed a goat.’

‘At least I wait for em to grow up!’

And so the jawaching went on into the night...

It turned out that poor Knobby didn’t think he could come up with enough ideas to complete a full project. But although Zblotnik, the fart-brained old git, agreed with him for once, everybody else thought otherwise. With help from Hands, Knobby had already completed a series of tracks used as intros, outros and intermissions for a podcast by PRiDE pal, Jozek. OK, so each one was only about a minute or so long, but if the lad could expand them, there was a full-scale project in the offing. Hands said he’d chip in and provide guidance on the rhythm-sections, and with the Blackshadow twisting the lad’s arm and threatening to snap it while he jammed his head down the khazi, Knobby agreed to have a go.

And so the seed to the The Pod was planted. Tracks were loaded into Logic, expanded and developed. And before long, the lad had the makings of a project. He even had a concept: a night in a club where the music reflects the condition of the clientele as they gradually get off their faces.

And did he learn the ins and outs of Logic Pro? Judge for yourself.

Click on the links above to download the 8 tracks making up The Pod as mp3s.

All tracks written, arranged, recorded, engineered and mixed at the Bollockbrain Bunker by The Knobster, ©2007 Bollockbrain Productions.

Assistance with rhythm tracks: Israel Hands.

Vox on Pods 5 & 8: The Bransholme Fart.

Produced by Mr Reindeer.

℗2007 Bollockbrain Productions. Some rights reserved.

Click HERE for artwork and lyrics.

Please read the Zblotnikland Legal Page before downloading any tracks.