When the PRiDE were doing the initial recording for The Pathway, one of the tracks up for consideration for the project was ‘Bell Bottom Blues’.
‘You know something,’ the Blackshadow said, ‘I’d like to do an arrangement of this where instead of dying at the end of time, everyone’s being butchered by aliens.’
‘Slaughterhouse-Five for Trekkies,’ said Rex.
‘Funny you should say that,’ said Max. ‘Only I were thinking the other night that a good idea for a project would be one where history is revealed to be people being manipulated by aliens.’
‘Jesus wept,’ said Izzy. ‘Not a fucking Kubrick’s Rube conspiracy theory. Next thing you’ll have us all chucking bones up in the fucking air and pretending they’re bastard Airfix kits on wires.’
‘Not so much a conspiracy,’ said Max, ‘as a load of aliens making people do daft things just to see what’ll happen.’
‘You sure you’ve not been watching too much Save the Green Planet?’ said the Blackshadow.
Max turned red.
‘So basically what you’re saying,’ said Mr Reindeer, ‘is that history is just a series of events where people are being buggered about by aliens for a laugh.’
‘More or less,’ said Max.
‘That’s not a bad idea,’ said Rex. ‘I’m up for that.’
And after a few more hums and ahs, it was decided that being buggered about by aliens would be good subject matter for a future project.
‘Only one thing,’ said Izzy.
‘What’s that?’ said Max.
‘You’re the fucking aliens, and they’re all playing bastard synths,’ said Izzy.
So the reworking of ‘Bell Bottom Blues’ was put to one side.
But not for long. When The Pathway was shelved due to a gormless cock-up with a MOTU plug-in, the PRiDE were left twiddling knobs in the Bunker with nothing coming out of the speakers. A shite situation if ever there was one. So Mr Reindeer suggested they kick off another project.
‘How about doing something with Max’s idea about being buggered about by aliens?’ he said.
Fed up with having to shelve a project, the PRiDE all agreed that this was a gradely idea. And before long, they were writing and laying down tracks like wolves in snow.
While the lyrics were being drafted, the usual question arose: What would the project be called?
‘How about The First of the Bohicans?’ said Izzy.
‘Sounds good to me,’ said Max.
And that was that.
Shortly after the project was completed, the PRiDE disappeared for several months. They have never revealed where they were during that time. The Bollockbrains suspect that they had been abducted by aliens. If so, The First of the Bohicans may hold slightly more than a grain of truth.
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All tracks written, arranged and played by THE SPECTRAL PRiDE, ©2010 Bollockbrain Productions.
Recorded, engineered and mixed by The Knobster at the Bollockbrain Bunker.
Produced by Mr Reindeer.
℗2010 Bollockbrain Productions. Some rights reserved.
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